Giana at 6 Months!

Giana at 6 Months!

This was truly an interesting month. Melissa and I vacationed at Cabo San Lucas, Mexico for an entire 7 days "without" our little one. Giana stayed behind with Grandma Sylvia and Grandpa Harry while Mommy and Daddy were out celebrating our 5th year anniversary. Thankfully no issues occurred staying at grandma's, but oh how we missed our princess. Needless to say... when we returned, we found Giana in great spirits and doing new things to astonish our senses. In the span of one week, Giana transformed into this energetic little girl that has us on the tip of our toes. Everything she does requires our full attention. She's rolling side to side, laughing, screaming, blowing raspberries, saying Da-da, and jumping up and down every chance she gets. We've got a little firecracker on our hands... watch out!


Mommy and Giana

My two chicks!













Titi Nancy and Giana

Enjoying a day on Shore Road, Bklyn

Giana and Uncle Doogie

Boy ya better not drop me!

Giana and Titi Nancy

Wow... that's unbeweaveable!

Titi Melissa and Ian

Hugging up with Nancy and Doogie's baby boy Ian (3 mos).

Giana

Not quite my size... but I'll be running around soon enough.

Daddy and Giana

Celebrating Daddy's 1st Father's Day... Mexican style. Don't hate the tan!

Giana and Jordan

Giana serenading her man.

Should be the other way around kiddo!

Mommy and Giana

Mommy always giving out huggs! Who's complaining?

Grandma Sylvia and Giana

Strolling the streets of Astoria Queens, while Mom and Dad are sitting on a beach in Mexico... No Fair!!!

Next time baby... next time!

Giana and Grandpa Harry

Grandpa can you do this???

Giana

Wutchutalkin'bout Willis???

Giana

No really... Whutchutalkin'bout?

Giana

In a happy drool.

Giana

Busted!

Giana

Posing for her Victoria Secret photo op.

Vivian and Giana

Spending a day upstate at Pawling

Daddy and Giana

Loving my girl as always.

So what have we learned in the sixth month........

So many things. For starters... vacationing without your child for the first time is murder. It's certainly not like honeymooning alone with your bride on a private beach in the Bahamas. It's like, " Okay... shouldn't I be changing pampers right now?". Sure we were loving the sun and time alone vacationing, but Giana could not be removed from our thoughts. Giana this... Giana that! Giana, Giana, Giana. Can you say babysick? Fortunately for email, we were able to communicate daily with grandma and grandpa about our little one. It was certainly a fantastic trip, but vacationing will never be the same. We'll bring her along next time.

Father's Day! Whoa (Big Happy Father's Day to all I missed!)! I must say that Father's Day is better than celebrating my own birthday. Forget growing old... what's better that having a day dedicated to Fathers? (No... not a day dedicated to Mother's! Ladies... it's not about you right now!) My first Father's Day was fantastic! I was catered to and felt overwhelmingly special due to the support of my darling wife and wonderful daughter. Father's Day is certainly a day to honor, and I am so glad to have had the opportunity to experience it. (Thanks to Denise, Nancy, and family for the invite and for preparing a wonderful feast of food and family fun! Much love!)

I also learned something important about marriage and relationships. I typically don't send out chain letters or emails that over impose ones feelings about a given subject, but I got this email and found it to be so important. As many of you know, Melissa and I have been through alot but have overcome alot and have been able to nurture our relationship along the way. True, with a child at home things can get a little sticky, but we've come to know each other to not take situations so personal, but to support each the other through our hard times. It is messages as the one to follow that brings the message home about the realities of marriage and relationships. I constantly hear stories of couples fussing, fighting, and complaining about each other... and to me, many people have this delusional idea that they're not the problem. Maybe you're not... but are you sure? I don't mean to sound like Dr. Phil here, but some things are plain as day. Can you see the things you do in your relationship, or is it just the other person?

Read the message below and evaluate your situation. Are you in trouble? or are you Ok? Be real with yourself and hopefully you can live a prosperous relationship for you, your loved one and family. (Sorry for the Preachy-Preach, but I really find this to be important and feel the need to share this with our closest friends and family.)

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Ten Ways to Marry the Wrong Person

With the divorce rate over 50%, too many are apparently making a
serious mistake in deciding whom to spend the rest of their life with.
To avoid becoming a "statistic," try to internalize 10 insights.

1. You pick the wrong person because you expect him/her to change after you're married. The classic mistake, never marry potential. The golden rule is, if you can't be happy with the person the way he or she is now, don't get married. As a colleague of mine so wisely put it, "You actually can expect people to change after their married...for the worst!"
So when it comes to the other person's spirituality, character, personal hygiene, communication skills, and personal habits, make sure you can live with these as they are now.

2. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character. Chemistry ignites the fire, but good character keeps it burning.
Beware of the "I'm in love" syndrome. "I'm in love often means, "I'm in lust." Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person's character? Here are four characteristics to definitely check for:

a. Humility: Does this person believe that "doing the right thing"
is more important than personal comfort?

b. Kindness: Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people?
How does s/he treat people s/he doesn't have to be nice to? Does s/he do volunteer work? Give to charity?

c. Responsibility: Can I depend on this person to do what s/he says that s/he's going to do?

d. Happiness: Does this person like himself? Does s/he enjoy life? Is s/he emotionally stable?

Then ask yourself:

Do I want to be more like this person? Do I want to have a child with this person? Would I like my child to turn out like him or her?

3. You pick the wrong person because the man doesn't understand what a woman needs most. Men and women have unique emotional needs, and more often than not, it is the man who just doesn't get it. Jewish tradition places the onus on the man to understand the emotional needs of the woman and to satisfy them. The unique need of a woman is to be loved; to feel that she is the most important person in her husband's life. The husband needs to give her consistent, quality attention. This is most apparent in Judaism's approach to sexual intimacy. The Torah obligates the husband to meet the sexual needs of his wife. Sexual intimacy is always on the woman's terms.

Men are goal oriented especially when it comes to this area. As a
wise woman once pointed out, "Men have two speeds: on and off." Women are experience oriented. When a man is able to switch gears and become more experience-oriented, he will discover what makes his wife very happy. Then the man forgets about his own needs and focuses on giving his wife.

4. You choose the wrong person because you do not share a common life goals and priorities. There are three basic ways we connect with another person:

a) Chemistry and compatibility

b) Share common interests

c) Share common life goals.

Make sure you share a deeper level of connection that sharing life
goals provide. After marriage, the two of you will either grow together
or grow apart. To avoid growing apart, you must figure out what you're
living for while you are single-and then find someone who has come to
the same conclusion as you. This is the true definition of a soul mate.

A soul mate is a goal mate . . . two people who ultimately share the
same understanding of life's purpose and therefore share the same
priorities, values and goals.

5. You choose the wrong person because you get involved sexually too
quickly. Sexual involvement before the commitment of marriage can be a
big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of
important issues. Sexual involvement tends to cloud one's mind. And a
clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions. It is not
necessary to "test drive" in order to find out if a couple are sexually
compatible. If you do your homework and make sure you are
intellectually and emotionally compatible, you don't have to worry
about sexual compatibility. Of all the studies on divorce, sexual
incompatibility is never cited as a main reason why people divorce.

6. You pick the wrong person because you do not have deeper
emotional connection to evaluate whether you have a deeper emotional
connection or not, ask: "Do I respect and admire this person?" This does not mean, "Am I impressed by this person?" A Mercedes impresses us. We do not respect someone because they own a Mercedes. You should be impressed by qualities of creativity, loyalty, determination, etc. Also ask:"! Do I trust this person?" This also means, "Is he/she emotionally stable? Do I feel I can rely on him/her?

7. You pick the wrong person because you choose some one with whom
you don't feel emotionally safe. Ask yourself the following questions: Do I feel calm, peaceful and relaxed with this person? Can I fully be myself and express myself with this person? Does this person make me feel good about myself? Do you have a really close friend who does make you feel this way?

Make sure the person you marry makes you feel the same way! Are you afraid of this person in any way? You should not feel you need to monitor what you say because you are afraid of how the other person will view it.

If you're afraid to express your feelings and opinions openly, there's
a problem with the relationship. Another aspect of feeling safe is that
you don't feel the other person is trying to control you. Controlling
behaviors are a sign of an abusive person. Be on the look out for
someone who is always trying to change you. There is a big difference
between “controlling" and "making suggestions." A suggestion is made
for your benefit.

8. You pick the wrong person because you don't put everything on the
table. Anything that bothers you about the relationship must be brought up for discussion. Bringing up the uncomfortable stuff is the only way to evaluate how well the two of you communicate, negotiate, and work together. Over the course of a lifetime, difficulties will inevitably arise. You need to know now, before making a commitment: Can you
resolve your differences and find compromises that work for both of
you? Never be afraid to let the person know what bothers you. This is
also a way for you to test how vulnerable you can be with this person.
If you can't be vulnerable, you can't be intimate. The two go hand in hand.

9. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to
escape from personal problems and unhappiness. If you are unhappy and
single, you'll probably be unhappy and married, too. Marriage does not
fix personal, psychological and emotional problems. If anything,
marriage will exacerbate them. If you are not happy with yourself and
your life, take responsibility to fix it now while you are single. You'll feel better and your future spouse will thank you.

10. You pick the wrong person because he/she is involved in a triangle.

To be "triangulated" means a person is emotionally dependent on someone or something else while trying to develop another relationship.

A person who hasn't separated from his or her parents is a classic example of triangulation. People can also be triangulated with things as well, such as work, drugs, Internet, hobbies, sports or money. Be careful that you and your partner are free of triangles. The person caught in a triangle cannot be fully emotionally available to you.

You'll not be their number one priority. And that's not basis for a marriage.

Many people are struggling because they have not used what God has given them. God gives you an acorn, you invest it and it will become a tree! Stop praying for trees while acorns are lying all over the ground. God answered your prayer for the tree when he sent you the acorn.

'til next month!

Matt, Melissa and Giana Renee Velez